In the wonderful world of sexuality, nearly anything is possible. Almost anything can be sexually arousing to someone, somewhere. We’re complex creatures, us humans, and our ability to use our imaginations never fails to astonish.
Think of what turns you on. You might be considering things like oral sex, hand sex, a good set of boobies, maybe a little spanking, bondage, tickling. Wait. What? Tickling? People are turned on by tickling? Like eyes watering, can’t breathe, want-to-crawl-out-of-my-skin-because-I’m-experiencing-such-intense-discomfort tickling?
Yes. Tickling can be sexually arousing for some people. In fact, in some cases it can manifest as a cornerstone of someone’s entire sexual template. “For most people who engage in erotic tickling, the pleasure is often a byproduct of the interplay of physical and psychological elements,” says Dr. Nazanin Moali, a sex therapist and the host of the Sexology podcast(opens in a new tab). Hmmm physical and psychological, you say? Color us intrigued.
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We’re not here to yuck anyone’s yum. We’re sexual explorers. So let’s dive in and get to the nuts and bolts of the wild and wonderful sexual interest in tickling. What is it about tickling that gets some people so hot? Where does getting the shit tickled out of you fit into BDSM? Can it be more than a “sexual interest” and be a literal cannot-live-without-it fetish?
Oh, we have got the goods. Come this way. And bring your feathers.
Understanding the science of tickling
If you’ve ever been tickled (and aren’t turned on by it), you may be having trouble conceptualizing how someone could be turned on by this sensation. If we break down what tickling actually is, and the purpose it serves in a non-sexual context, we can start to paint the picture.
The intensity of a tickling sensation is an evolutionary survival tactic. Tickling usually triggers fear, which is part of our biological survival strategy against threats. “Tickling is a complex sensation. Tickling can create awareness of something crawling/moving on your skin,” Moali says.
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If something dangerous is crawling on you, your body senses this as tickling so that you’ll know you need to take action. For instance, if a spider is on you, a tickling sensation would be a very quick alarm that you need to brush that fucker off real quick before it bites you.
Laughter is a part of this biological defense system. This is why we laugh when tickled. We “are laughing, which seems to indicate pleasure, but internally it is common to actually feel varying levels of discomfort,” explains Sarah Melancon(opens in a new tab), PhD, a sociologist, clinical sexologist, and resident expert at The Sex Toy Collective.
How tickling can lead to sexual arousal.
Tickling can trigger fear, which for some people can be very sexually arousing. Sexual arousal and fear arise from the same foundation — physiological arousal. Tickling falls under the pain-pleasure umbrella of emotions, which are highly connected in the brain. The intense and overwhelming feelings that come with tickling can feel like a life-threatening situation. Your nervous system doesn’t know how to make the distinction between a real and perceived threat. Your biological response to the perceived threat to your life spikes your adrenaline levels, which can lead to becoming sexually aroused.
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Melancon says arousal can also come from the anticipatory nature of tickling. We don’t know when it’s coming, and therefore our senses are on hyper-alert. Research on tickling(opens in a new tab) has even found that the anticipation of being tickled activates the same parts of the brain that light up when we are actually being tickled. It’s that intense up in the old noggin.
Tickling, which is conventionally considered highly unpleasant, becomes deeply pleasurable and erotic.
A tickle sesh can even culminate in climax. “Some individuals are able to orgasm simply from being tickled,” Melancon tells us. The tickling is so pleasurable that you can literally come. Awesome, right?
The Dom/sub dynamic in a tickling scene.
But it’s not only about the sensation, folx. It is about the foundational layer of a BDSM scene: The Dom/sub relationship. Tickle play is about the giving and receiving of power in a safe and consensual way. “There is a power dynamic between the giver and the receiver which can foster a deep sense of intimacy and vulnerability,” Moali says. The Dom/sub dynamic is integral to a tickling scene.
The Tickler/ticklee take on the Dominant and submissive roles, respectively.
It’s important to note that In order to become fully aroused, we need to feel safe. This means that while we may be experiencing a biological fear response, we need to know that we’re rooted in true safety with our Dom (or Tickle Top/Tickler). We need to feel that our partner is going to respect our boundaries and stop if we pull out a safe word.
Tickling as a kink or fetish.
While tickle play doesn’t always involve your classic BDSM impact play/bondage/leather situation, it can do so under the umbrella of BDSM. I mean, we’re talking about being turned on by tickling. That is some kinky stuff! “The official terminology for tickle fetishists is Knismophiliac,” says professional kinkster, Mistress Kye(opens in a new tab). While she tells us it is one of the more “obscure” fetishes, it isn’t entirely uncommon.
“The official terminology for tickle fetishists is Knismophiliac.”
Tickling kink vs. tickling fetish: What’s the difference here?
A kink is when someone derives pleasure from a “typically” non-sexual object, act, sensation etc. Think, being sexually into leather, spanking, praise etc.
A fetish is where the object, act, or sensation needs to be present in order to reach peak sexual arousal. This would mean tickling needs to be on the menu for you to enjoy a sexual experience to the fullest extent possible.
The reasons for having a tickle fetish are highly variable. “It could be about sensation, for others it could be mostly about the power dynamic involved in being pinned or restrained,” Moali explains. “For some couples it is about enacting a particular fantasy in which tickling could be a part.”
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Additionally, the turn on can be about experiencing childlike playfulness, Moali tells us. It can be about creating a scene where fun and play are experienced. These folx “enjoy the endorphin dump while being playful, physical, and silly,” Kye adds.
I think we all remember being tickled as kids, however good or bad those memories are.
How tickling scenes can play out.
Melancon says the following motivators drive tickle scenes:
Tickling as consensual punishment.
Tickling as an opportunistic part of play. Wherein, someone is already tied up and tickling may add to a sense of helplessness.
Tickling as embarrassment or humiliation.
Tickling as an added layer of sensation, in which someone is restrained and tickling adds to the experience
“Some people] enjoy tickling as part of foreplay, leading to typical sexual activities such as intercourse. Tickling may or may not involve nudity,” Melancon says. Basically, it plays out in a lot of ways and it’s very subjective from person-to-person.
In some extreme cases, tickling may become “tickle torture,” Melancon says. This can manifest in many ways, but it usually involves the ticklee being tied up and forced to “endure” tickling as a part of the scene. Of course, these scenes, like all scenes, are highly negotiated.
Tickle torture “can include a myriad of toys for specific parts of the body,” Kye says. “A personal favorite of mine is the electric toothbrush on nipples. The toothbrush sustains such intensity that it becomes painful — good pain, that is.”
The bottom line: Like it or hate it, tickling can be a big source of erotic power for some people. And you know what? That’s totally OK. Everyone enjoys what they enjoy. What happens between consenting adults is no one else’s business. Live, laugh, tickle.
